love is not a victory march; it's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah.

there is something to be said about this. whether i listen to leonard cohen, jeff buckley, rufus wainwright, or kate voegel's version of the song 'Hallelujah', i am spoken to in so many different ways.
this song is delicate but it tears through to the core, and there is one reason why: it paints love with all of the strife with which it is truly comprised. yes, there is so much beauty and so much happiness in love. but, this sings of the trials of humbling devotion that we risk for our hearts when we set them free.

"you saw her bathing on the roof; her beauty in the moonlight overthrew you. she tied you to her kitchen chair; she broke your throne, she cut your hair, and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah."
love can blind us into seeing something pure, and even after we learn that we stand fooled and bruised, sometimes it is impossible still to correct the feeling of fullness we think we are getting.
the worst part is actually beyond the hard part- the worst part is that we will then apply our assumptions and lack of trust onto new lovers who may never hurt us so deeply.

"it's not a cry you can hear at night; it's not somebody who has seen the light."
love can be lonely. it can be sleepless; it can mean sleeping through life. none of us have the answers, and there is no advice to be had. all that there can be for love is more of it, and more of it for each of us. until love is not a place where we are alone.

love is not Always lonely- this is not to say that love is only miserable and incomplete . but, for the longing and sadness that can result, this song has captured and has, with reason, given glory to the potentials that exist when love does.

Hallelujah says that love brings us to our knees and then drags us through the dirt.
our job is to survive through it. our job is to take what love gives us and understand that intention is never for pain. there is not room for regret, there is only room to accept the closeness that we do find, in its simplest and greatest of shapes. love can be in friendship, love can be in love. love can be in both. whichever you have; if you have both- you should be holding with silken chains. not too aggressively, and not too lightly- a reminder that you are there.



i know this room, and i've walked this floor.