i am an american-aquarium drinker..

it's hard to take a look at back at yourself and see the places that you have been. from a crab-apple tree whose petals would shower over the driveway when the wind gained enough speed, to the house with the blue door. we wore dinosaur finger puppets and light-up, high-top sneakers as we sat on the russet colored carpet of the toy room. waiting at a bus stop right in front of our house, and when two bells told us that it was time for our day to begin. these small things existed in each day, and can no longer be touched. it would be very possible to walk through the halls of my high school; it would be quite impossible to feel the excitement of the last home game. all we can do is miss the days that would drag in February- when the snow refused to melt, and we would stare at a blinding white through the cafeteria windows. though new people and places have replaced those that were there before, the reality of being unable to ever feel those days again is overwhelming. it has been so for some time, but growing up is a process in many parts, and the order is never consistent.
the one constant is the progression forward; it grants us the opportunity to see more, be more, build more, meet more. we use the time ahead of us as a blank tablet and dance across it with music notes on our heels. the melody we look back on is a result of how confidently and passionately we have put our feet down.

from me, to me-

Success exists within a day in which we are inspired. Inspired by words, inspired by a video clip; the movement of bodies, or falling leaves. Inspiration is fluid, as are people. It comes not only from what Is, but also, from what is not. Where words are so riveting that only silence is a fit response, where dance forms salty tears in our eyes; they move down our skin and away from us, such as the pictures that leave our eyes and the lyrics, our ears. To inspire is to build across people, to connect and to flourish imagination in a way that moves us forward. We must have dreams in order to inspire. To say that we 'dream' for something is not a more glorified way of saying that we wish. To 'dream' is to long for something that seems to be an impossibility at the time. To share a dream is to wear your soul like a shirt even at the risk that it will be torn. To declare that one dreams is a declaration in itself of faith: in people, in the world, in Oneself.

say it. maybe it's because-

There is so much searching; so much questioning. We meet, we talk; we engage. We start as a wave or a handshake- a smile. We develop, we become friends, we become family or lovers. The time spent analyzing a moment increases; we stop ourselves from delving too much into what hasn't yet happened; life is a clock without hands, and everything that happens is in its own time.

There comes a certain age where there isn't any middle-ground: the people who matter are your family and your chosen family. Christmas-time changes when the presents become nothing but a decoration. There is a real motivation in shopping for gifts- we each secretly treasure the long hours of arguing over where and when to stop for dinner, and wondering where your brothers and sisters are because we all split up to make secret purchases over 2 hours ago. We are running around on Christmas Eve day--but we are not at work, or class---we are together, and finally.

Sometimes, all the time, I wonder when we grew up; when we got to this point. The beauty in being able to see the worth of what we have is immeasurable. Bravely admitting how we feel in our hearts as they are loved or hurt humbles us; it creates the thread that weaves who we are becoming.

We meet people at work, at school, through friends. You walk into a quiet room with a cardboard box and white walls; a week's time brings relics of your heart taped on the walls, a neighbor who brushes their teeth in your bathroom, and strangers become friends who share a couch.

To appreciate home in its purest- the sound of the roof creaking with the wind, the hand that knows where to find the light switch in the dark, knowing the sound of your brother's footsteps coming down the stairs.


These are the things we should notice; but don't take notes- just take them with you.