who will save our souls?

do you realize the world that you exist in? because i'm realizing that i exist a world where the question is much more frequently "what's wrong?" than "what's right?" a world that stretches from the country to the city, from a life that is slow and stable-- to a life where no one has the time. the time is spent; spent collecting a personal fortune and fulfilling personal desires- which is fine, until i come to this:

the fact that the "looking for" category has added a new box, and it basically says "casual sex." but why? did we run out of time? did we run out of heart? why is "random play" an acceptable want, and a more frequent choice for us? because, "we are animals--it's a natural instinct...?" well, that is true- but just in case anyone has forgotten- we are not a species that runs wild in a jungle. we live in a society that claims to be based on morals, but that, in my opinion, has made so many allowances for simplifying matters of the heart that we don't react to the large amount of us that take the easy way out.

it's true: not every date will end in a relationship, and not every relationship will end in marriage, but what happened to dates? when was the last time, you ask, that someone asked me out to dinner, instead of hitting on me at a bar or party? oh...Never. and i have reason to believe that i am NOT the only woman who has experienced this, or hasn't experienced this, as the case may be. meeting someone out is not the real issue- it's the expectation after the fact. a hopeless romantic through and through, i will not deny that love "at-first-sight" exists. however, drunkenly meeting a hot guy at a bar who has the same taste in music as you and "thinks your eyes are really beautiful"....does not qualify. so what's the rush? why has our generation become accustomed to jumping into bed with a stranger after a night of heavy drinking and small talk? so many women my age complain about how poorly guys treat them; how they can't find the relationship that they want...i think that just maybe, we've been selling ourselves short. after all, isn't that how the old saying goes? when you can't get what you want, take what you can get. oh...wait- that's not right, is it?

between my own experiences and the experiences of all of my girlfriends, there have been boys, and guys, and there have been men. and after all of the stories- the ones i've heard and the ones i've lived through, the best advice to take is the same about worrying. don't worry until you have a reason, and don't think you have a relationship until you have a ring. just kidding, but really- pay attention. if it's true, if men in their 20's are not looking for anything but casual sex, then maybe i'm not looking for a man right now. maybe, JUST maybe, i'm on a hiatus from men.

while we can't reverse the seemingly permanent and damaging effects of our society that have been brought on by four lokos and college students, while we may not be able to raise the bar, we can change how we handle ourselves. if a one-night-stand is not going to fill your cup, take yourself out of this half-assed dating arena where cheap booze gets you nothing but cheaper sex. demand more for yourself, and don't be afraid to take the time. hooking up is easy, and everyone wants it. but i don't need everyone to want me, or even anyone. what i want is to enjoy my life as it comes, and eventually come across someone who wants me. in more than just one capacity, for longer than just one night.