fact: women want connection.
in and out of 'non'-relationships, dates, hook-ups, and anything of the sort..i've come realize that none of us will ever learn. not in our early twenties, anyway.
if a guy is single, it's for a reason:
a. some phenomenal woman broke his heart,
b. he has no interest in anything besides casual sex,
or c. his job is his priority.
make no mistake; none of these situations are to be ridiculed: to each his own.
by the same token:
if a woman is single, it's also for a reason:
a. her boyfriend just broke up with her
b. she's a "stage-five clinger"
or c. she is so hopeless and/or violent toward the male population that she joins a convent or a knitting group.
of course there are exceptions to each of these rules; and please don't misunderstand- they apply even to the sexiest and independent (of sexy and independent) women.
we turn to our girlfriends for their delusional* advice, we listen for hours, and then do the obvious: ignore her and text him, go for a run, get wrapped up in work, or in the worst cases, watch sex & the city re-runs while drinking wine and eating ben and jerry's.
there is no MYSTERY to solve here! no matter how many times we analyze each minuscule detail of the emails, facebook messages, and texts (ex. "and then he said 'definitely, smiley-face, exclamation-point'...so wait should i call him?!"), the answer is still the same: if a guy wants you, he'll find you...and maybe right now, it's okay to just have fun...to exist without being 'found'.
(*= loving and supportive)
in the meantime, ask yourself this: why am i wasting my time worrying over things that have already been said, or done? did you physically hurt him? did you kidnap his dog, or steal his car? if the answer is no, chill the fuck out. if the answer is yes, please check yourself into some sort of 12-step program.
the point is, we're not crazy for wanting more, wondering about the possibilities, or bringing them up. the worst that can happen is just the same as in any other situation:
you get told 'no',
or
you get embarrassed.
...and this has been happening since you asked for a my-size Barbie, and since you tripped and fell on your face 2 weeks ago. get used to it, and get over it.
note: any failed potential that turns into another obnoxious "guy i almost hooked up with," turns into your own personal success- you saved some face, some dignity, and some friday nights with endless possibilities...and every failed-potential that turns into a guy it "just didn't work out with", turns into the possibility of an incredible friendship...and there's always time for later.
stop second-guessing yourself; stop asking what's wrong with you.
embrace the fact that love, in any and every form, takes time.
broken hearts mend.
know that your own definition of love, and expectations for a relationship are quite possibly NOT the same as his.
know that "not now" does not mean "not ever."
know not to wait,
but know:
the more open your mind and heart are, the more potential you give yourself-
in dating, in love, and in life.
